Sneaky Ways Perfectionism Affects Our Lives
Perfectionism is a trait many of us pride ourselves on. We strive for excellence, attention to detail, and the highest quality in everything we do. And, at times, these qualities can be beneficial. They can also lead to some pretty detrimental effects on our mental and emotional well-being.
But how do we identify perfectionism, distinguish it from ambition and drive, and can we mitigate its negative impact?
Procrastination and Paralysis
One of the sneaky ways that perfectionism affects our lives is through procrastination and paralysis. When we set impossibly high standards for ourselves, we may become overwhelmed by the fear of making mistakes or falling short of our own expectations. It’s a tough reality, but the more highly we perform, the higher the bar is set for us by others. This means that we get stuck in a self-perpetuating loop of performing well, being praised for how well we performed, and feeling the need to perform as well or better the next time. As a result, we may procrastinate on important tasks or avoid taking action altogether. This can lead to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. This of course makes us feel like a failure, forcing us back onto the perfectionism carosel. Frankly, it’s exhausting!
Strained Relationships
Perfectionism can also strain our relationships, both personally and professionally. When we expect perfection from ourselves, we may also impose unrealistic standards on others. This can lead to strained interactions, conflicts, and a lack of empathy for the imperfections of those around us. Over time, this can erode the trust and connection we have with others, impacting our social and emotional well-being.
Burnout and Stress
My least favorite “B” word - burnout. The relentless pursuit of perfection can take a toll on our mental and physical health. Constantly striving for flawlessness can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and ultimately burnout. The pressure to meet unattainable standards can deplete our energy and resilience, leaving us exhausted and emotionally drained. This, of course, negatively impacts our overall quality of life and sense of fulfillment. In response, we hop back on that self-perpetuating cycle since our performance is often less than steller when we’re feeling burnt out. This leads to making mistakes and then typically getting unpleasant feedback about our mistakes from others (remember, because you’ve set the bar so high, even the slightest mistake looks glaring!). This activates our feelings of failure and we strive to be even more perfect the next time around.
Overcoming Perfectionism
Okay - you get it! You’re a perfectionist. What now?
If you’re ready to start tackling your perfectionism, here are a few tips to help mitigate the impact of perfectionism:
Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of harsh self-criticism, cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in the face of mistakes or setbacks.
Set Realistic Goals: Strive for excellence, but also recognize your limits and set realistic, achievable goals. Embrace progress over perfection.
Embrace Imperfection: Shift your mindset to embrace the beauty of imperfection. Understand that making mistakes is a natural part of growth and learning.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, a therapist, or coach to gain perspective and skills to break free from perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be a sneaky infiltrator in our lives. Often masquerading as ambition it sets unattainable standards that keep us hustling until we’re ready to break. By recognizing the detrimental effects of perfectionism and implementing strategies to overcome its grip, we can cultivate a healthier, more balanced approach to life. Embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion can lead to greater resilience, fulfillment, and inner peace.
Remember, it's progress, not perfection, that truly matters.
